Thoughts on "This is Water"

This week, I was pleasantly surprised to find that David Foster Wallace's "This is Water," was one of the most interesting and thought provoking things I'd ever read.  What intrigued me most was not only his unique voice and use of examples and stories, but also the many different layers that it has, especially given the context it has in Wallace's life.

When reading this for first time I was instantly captivated by the ideas that it conveyed. One of the most interesting ideas he presented was the idea that our "natural default-setting" as people, is to always be worrying about ourselves first.  I personally find that to be profoundly true. There is not a single person in the world who can disagree with that statement, because no one will ever be able to see the world through eyes other than their own so there is no way one can make any decision without first thinking about themselves. Even those who are looked up to for their generosity, people like Bill Gates, first have to make sure that they are secure in their own lives before helping out others. If you always put others' needs in front your own, you can easily be taken advantage of, and will never be truly happy.

After reading this article and being thoroughly interested in Wallace's ideas, I went back to the beginning and read the background information on his life.  After reading all about his accomplishments, the paragraph ended with the startling fact that three years after giving this speech, he committed suicide.  Reading this changed the entire meaning of the speech for me, giving a dark undertone that I had not seen before.  After knowing he ended his life, it lets the reader in on how empty and confused he was during his life.  For example, near the beginning of the speech he warns the audience, “If at this moment, you're worried that I plan to present myself here as the wise old fish explaining what water is to the other fish, please don't be.  I am not the wise old fish." Before knowing the background information, this statement seems to be almost comical.  However after knowing the issues he had been dealing with, it shows his views in a whole new light.  Statements like this almost seem like a cry for help and it makes me uneasy to see that although he is a “genius,” he is just as confused and blind as the rest of us. He continues on to talk about how to be truly happy and free, but if he had it all figured out, then why was he still so unhappy that he felt had to end his own life? If he can’t follow his own advice, then what made him think that anyone else can?