The Waitron 5000

In The Word Police, Michiko Kakutani pokes fun at political correctness by going completely overboard in suggesting more appropriate substitutes for things that aren't even offensive in the first place. She alternates between criticizing PC advocates and suggesting outlandish things like replacing the word, "testimony" with "ovarimony" when talking about a woman and replacing "Pet Semetary" with "Animal Companion Graves." Seeing those suggestions by themselves make it clear that Kakutani is intentionally exaggerating these fictional examples, however the examples of real ideas by PC advocates seem almost just as ridiculous.

For example, when Kakutani suggests the use of "ovarimony," I found it quite humorous as I saw the way that it made the overly sensitive people look foolish, even though I was convinced they would never dare suggest something this extreme. However, in the next paragraph she uses real examples found in the Random House Webster's College Dictionary that instantly proved me wrong. She states that the book has an appendix titled, "Avoiding Sexist Language," in which the author suggests using the alternative spelling "womyn" because it is demeaning to those of the female sex to include the word "men" inside of it. The author of this appendix also suggests using the word "waitron" to address both male and female restaurant workers, even though the words waiter and waitress are already inclusive and are not derogatory or oppressive in any way.  Calling someone a waitron would do nothing to get rid of gender stereotypes, but instead would degrade those who work in restaurants, reducing them to lifeless food service robots who have no purpose but serve their master, the customer. I originally found humor in the tongue-in-cheek examples Kakutani was using, but after seeing what kind of over-the-top things that actual PC advocates were in support of, and seeing how similar these two really were, my enjoyment instantly turned into deep concern.